TO TRUST AGAIN

RE-ENGAGING IN GOD'S DESTINY FOR YOUR LIFE

SESSION 1 - THE CASUALTY UNIT

 

 

In April last year I posted that the Lord had laid upon my heart to write a programme to restore those that had been hurt and abused spiritually.  This had been quite a journey.  Firstly facing some of the things that had happened to me as well as those I had been privy to.

Well the programme is complete.  It now stands as a 6 session training session Called 'To Trust Again".  Below is a short excerpt from the first session.

 

"It takes more courage to suffer than to die."

Napoleon Bonaparte

If you were to ask me why we, as Christians we wound each other I could not, with any certainty, tell you why.  All I can say is that we, as a church, have a propensity to wound, maim and destroy the very people we are there to serve.  The only real reason I can come up with is that we have not fully grasped and adopted the teachings of Christ, and I include myself in this.  We take those teachings we like and discard or disregard those that are uncomfortable or too difficult for us.

It is for this reason that we struggle in our relationships with one another.  We seem to forget that our leaders or brothers and sisters in the Lord are just as flawed and fallen as we are.  In our post modern age we have failed to embrace the upward call of God.  (See Philippians 3:14) This calling to be "In the world, but not of the world." (John 17:15 - 17)  A man once told me that living in this world is like having 2 huts surrounded by mud.  You cannot move from one hut (Birth) to the other hut (Death) without getting dirty.  In the same way those around us also live in the same spiritual situation we do.

 

"Since God is good, we must regard Him as the author of all our blessings; our misfortunes we must assign to other causes, but never to God."

Plato

So where does that leave us?  We know what has happened to us and we cannot reconcile the teachings of Christ and the behaviour of some of His followers.

Thomas Chalmers once said,

"Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping the other person dies."

So how do we let go of what has happened to us.  Our pain is part of us.  We can no more wish it away than we could erase its memory.  In this case what we focus on is the key to our future spiritual state.

¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”
    Lamentations 3:19 -33

 

Now there is a difference between acknowledging that something has happened and being fixated on the past.  I have met people, and even found myself, telling everyone what has happened to us.  Either in an attempt to gain sympathy or to validate some level of negative behaviour.  This can tend to have the exact opposite effect.  All too often it pushes people away and isolates us even more.  This only solidifies our internal dialogue.  This internal dialogue is the endless conversation we have with our selves.  "I'm not good enough." "No one understands me." etc.

However just letting go is often not enough.  Sometime we actually have to understand and process what has happened or we fail to remove the venom, or poison, of the incident from our system.  If we do not do this properly it can subconsciously cause us to react negatively to similar circumstances time and again.  Even though we don't mean too we snap and react in an ungodly manner.  Strangely enough this is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

So how do we know what the difference is.

Firstly you need to have a look at the impact it had on you.  The greater the impact the more significant, and likely, the damage may be.  If you were treated badly and you just brushed it off only to snap later on, then it is likely it had more of an effect on you than you originally thought.

So how do we take the sting out of our memories.  God may be able to instantly forget when we ask for forgiveness, but we seem to struggle with this.  To a large extent this has to do with the emotions attached to that memory.  It is also true that negative emotions are harder to let go of than their positive counterparts.

 

"If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others."

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131  (Courtesy Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota - 14 August 2013)

Although our pain and circumstance do not define us they certainly give us a level of connectedness and compassion for those in a similar situation.  The Lord can use this to reach others.  If we deny what has happened and ignore its effect on us, we add shame to the emotional baggage we are carrying.  As if, for some reason, it is embarrassing and not spoken of in the presence of other more 'spiritual' people. So instead of God's power being made manifest in that situation, to bring healing and strength to our soul, the situation continues to have power over us.

 

Victor Frankl called it in his book 'Man's Search for Meaning'

 

"The mortification of normal reactions."

 

By embracing or owning our pain and turning it over to the Lord we give Him space in our hearts and lives to add His purpose and Spirit.

 

That which brought us low becomes the very vessels God uses to raise us up and strengthen those brethren who, like us, have been discarded, wounded and maimed.

 

 

Shalom

 

David McLachlan