From Solitude to Solidarity

From Solitude to Solidarity

There are many things in this world that keep us singled out from the crowd.  We may feel vulnerable and ostracized. Almost as if we are not worthy of being part of  the herd.  This phenomenon is perpetuated throughout our school days when the pecking order was established and not being include or identified as being “In’ the popular group meant that we were second, or even third class citizens and not worthy of attention or reinforcing.

Even now when we are older and wiser to the ways of the world we still fall prey to this mentality.  It seems, unfortunately,  that even in the church we have continued this behaviour.  Each spiritual group has it’s own set of prerequisites that determine at what level each person may be considered 'in'. Even in spite of the obvious teachings of Christ and Paul to the contrary.

The down side to this is that we now have a large number of truly lovely people who no longer fit anywhere.  The stigma attached to leaving a fellowship of believers because of a negative situation has meant that the injured are blamed for their lack of commitment. To the point that we now have people who have walked away from the Lord all together. This is one of the greatest travesties in the modern / post modern church.   

Once these precious ones have been expelled from the herd they are treated as pariah’s.  Contacting them is seen as backsliding or at the very least poor judgement.  They are left defenceless and alone. Which then perpetuates the whole cycle again.

But this methodology is a human construct, God is not part of this.  What is needed is a place where people, no matter who they are, can meet and share their lives with God and others in a manner that reflects their heavenly value, not their perceived earthly value. Also one the is representative of their relationship with our Lord.

You see Jesus died for us all.  Not just those who are considered “In”. In fact he says himself that he came to save sinners (See Luke 19:10).  If I read the word of God correctly, that means all of us. (See Romans 5: 5 - 8).  So in reality the ones who deem themselves as not needing of his grace daily are actually the ones who have removed themselves from the true spiritual herd.  That is those of us who have been saved by grace!

We are connected because of our common need of God’s grace in our lives.  This is actually not a sign of weakness or a lesser stature since Paul is quite clear in Romans 3 : 22 - 24.

²²" This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,  ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  ²⁴ and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

I gladly admit I have more in common with the Tax Collector and Publican than I do with the ruling religious leaders of Jesus times.  As should you.  Instead of finding grounds to exclude people in our spiritual community we should be desperately seeking ways to include them, within the main tenets of scripture.

I can remember when I was told that wearing blue jeans was bad.  Not because they were evil but rather that ‘some’ people may identify me as a rebel or a non conformist.  However I do not see the bible speaking about conformity in the New Testament, only unity.  In fact the only references uses conformity in the negative! (See 1 Corinthians 12: 2).  Unity does not mean commonality, it means different yet connected.

This also extends to the manner in which we choose to worship our Lord.  Do we adhere to the belief that it can only take place in the manner of our choosing, or is the Lord mighty  enough to receive the praises and worship of his people in whatever way they are able.  After all it is more dependent on the condition of the heart than what is coming out of the mouth, is it not. (see John 4 : 21 - 24, Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman and 1 Samuel 16 : 6 - 7 the choosing of David as the new King)

My desire is creating an online community is so that people may come and bring glory to the Lord in a way that has meaning for them, as well as the Lord.  Where they can take those first steps back towards the Lord who desperately loves them and has never stopped reaching out.

Now I know this may not be popular, or even ‘seen to be needed’, but these blessed ones are out there.  The disenfranchised, the rejected, the hurting and spiritually abused.  They are not the ‘prodigals’.  This presupposes the fault for their situation is theirs.  We have created this environment where it is acceptable to cast them out into the darkness with no care for how they will navigate the mental and spiritual anguish they are feeling.

I have set up a Facebook page called “To Trust Again”.  It is a place that’s aim is to create a safe environment for those who wish to find their way back to God.  Not necessarily back to church.  For some it would be like going back into the same mêlée (battleground) that created their current situation, but rather back to the one who loves them so much He held nothing back and gave up His only son so that they may be restored again to Him.  What they and the Holy Spirit choose to do after that is up to them.

So if that is you then please know that God has not rejected you.  You are still loved and He is willing to take the time it needs to restore you to himself.  You are precious to Him.  Remember what it says in Luke 15 : 1 - 7

¹" Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering round to hear him.  ² But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners, and eats with them."  ³ Then Jesus told them this parable:  ⁴ "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders  ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbours together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'  ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

So today if you read this and you want to know if you have gone too far, you haven't.  He loves you, as you are! Whatever happens after this moment is between you and Him.  His Holy Spirit will guide you and build into you in His time and in His way.  Just trust His heart.  He wants the best for you.

Shalom

David McLachlan

THE GRACE OF GOD

In the days of the Roman occupation

The Lord looked down and saw the condition

of His people. That they were broken and scattered. 

That even those who had been charged with their care

kept them in bondage to endless laws

and heavy requirements. As He saw this

He was saddened to the depths of His heart.

Then Michael, Commander of the Host of Heaven

came to Him and asked why He was so sad.

"This was not my plan for them." The Lord replied.

"When I created them I saw a people who

would live a life of joyful praise. Serving

one another out of their love for me."

Michael looked at His Master and stepped forward,

"My Master give the word and I will lead 10 Legions

of your finest warriors and restore the land and

drive out the invaders." He said sternly fire

glistening in his eyes.

"But if I save them in such a way what will they

learn of my heart? No! Michael that is not the way."

the Lord replied.

Then Michael continued, "My Lord, then let us, once again,

 raise up a mighty warrior who will lead the people

 in victorious battle.  They can then restore your Kingdom

and establish your laws once more."

The Lord turned to face His captain deeply touched

by his Love and determination.

"Thank you Michael.  I know I simply have to ask and

you will expend your last breath to see it done.

However if I do that my people will once again look

to man for their salvation.  They will be slaves once more

and instead of foreign rulers they will have their own.

No. Now is the time when they must seek Me for who I am.

They must return to me because they want to,

 not because it is required of them.

"How will you do this?" Michael asked.

"Through Grace!" The Lord replied. "For thousands of

years they have tried to fulfil the law, but it is not within

them to do.  So I will show them my grace and love

and redeem them myself."

Michael locked puzzled. "But how will you do this my Lord. 

You have set the price for the forgiveness of sins.

The people know what is required.  How will you show

 them grace and not destroy the law?"

Now Jesus had been listening to the whole

conversation and now stepped forward.

"I will go to them and show them who you are

my Lord." Jesus said. "I will speak to them and

show them your power."

Michael got very excited. "That is a great idea Lord.

How can they doubt when they see you in your glory. 

They will surely turn from their ways and worship you."

"No Michael." Jesus continued. " I will not go as you

see me now. For then as soon as I am gone I will

become legend and those who did not see me

will not change."

"Then how my Lord?" Michael asked.

"I will be born as one of them.

I will lay aside this form and become as they are.

I will live among them and show them what the

Kingdom of God is supposed to be." Jesus replied.

Then the Father asked, "But how will that show

the grace I wish to give them?"

Then Jesus looked at his Father and replied.

"Because I will pay the price for their sin

according to the Law.  I will let them kill me

and become the spotless lamb that is required."

Michael could not speak, his mind raced at the

thought of Jesus dying at the hands of the Lords creation.

"My Master," he cried out "That can not be. 

What possible good could come from your death?"

Jesus looked and Him with great love and understanding.

"Michael grace is a free gift given to those who do not deserve it.

What better way to show the love and grace of the

Father than to give up everything and pay the price they

are not able to pay themselves. 

That is the essence of grace."

WHY?

 

I think this is one question we fail to ask ourselves enough.

 

Why do we pray?

Why do we tithe?

Why read the Bible?

Why obey God?

Etc.

 

Not that I am opposed to any of these activities, quite the opposite, however sometime if we don’t know why we do certain things there is no longer a purposefulness to them and they are simply automatic observances to a pre-established normal mode of behaviour.

 

Sometimes we don’t ask because the answer would show how truly shallow we have become. It may be that our religious observances are simply a thinly veiled mental juggling act in the guise of a mathematical equation!

 

Prayer + Obedience = Blessing

 

Yes this may seem over simplified, almost like 1 + 1 = 2.  To get 2 you must add 1 and 1.

 

However our motivation may perhaps be selfish and almost manipulative.  Do we do things to earn the favour of God, or even worse do we act the way we do simply to make sure we don’t incur His wrath? Have we abdicated our free will and followed an idea that God has a carrot in one hand and a stick in the other?  Perhaps even slipping so far as to believe we have the carrot and God must now ‘Bless’ us because we have behaved correctly?

 

We also do things out of a misplaced sense of expectation.  “You are a Christian therefore you must…..” (You fill in the blank).  Sometimes our behaviour is not based in a respect and appreciation for what the Lord has done for us on Calvary, Jesus taking our place and paying for our sins, but rather because it is what society or our well-meaning brothers and sisters have imposed upon us.

 

We have allowed others to convince us that Jesus saved us, but we have to make sure we are good enough to earn His continued blessing.  Although not always spoken out load there is a subtle thought that when bad things go wrong in our lives it’s because of something we have done wrong.   

There are some who have been bridled with endless observances meant only to control and maintain the status quo.

 Let’s look at the truth a moment.

 

1.     Prayer

·       We must communicate with the Lord.  Not just to let Him know what we need, but out of a deep desire to get to know Him.

·       Your prayers must be relational in nature.  Jesus told us how to pray in Matthew 6.  It starts, not with an endless length of words meant to get God attention, but rather a simple greeting that establishes the relationship we are supposed to have. ‘Our Father…’ (Matthew 6:9)

·       Don’t be in a hurry.  Stay a while.

2.     Tithe

·       Why does God need your money?  Some will say he doesn’t.  Others say it’s not about how much you give, but how much you keep.

·       2 Corinthians 9:6 – 15 gives a clear and understandable perspective on this.

·       Being guilted into giving doesn’t do YOU any good.

3.     Bible Reading

·       Don’t read it because you have to or because it is expected.  Read it because you want to know more about this man Jesus who died for you, and His father who loves you.

·       Read it so that when people ask you, and they will, you can give them an answer you would be happy with. 2 Timothy 2 :15. 

4.     Obedience and Service

·       John 5: 19 tells us that even Jesus only did what he saw the Father doing.  He knew what he was there to do and he did that.  It may not have been what other people wanted, but it was what the Lord wanted.

Find out why you do, or do not, the things mentioned above.  Be purposeful about your service.  Evaluate for yourself.  Stop listening to the next “New Doctrine” or popular idea and find the truth for yourself.  Don’t settle for a second-hand gospel.  Go to the Lord and ask him to show you what he wants you to do.

 

Keep in mind what 1 Corinthians 3: 12 – 14 says about being a wise builder.  If we are simply acting to keep other people from complaining or getting upset with us then all that work is meaningless in the light of eternity.  Only what is done for Christ will remain.  However this must be a purposeful and God honouring pursuit. (Colossians 3:23 – 24).

 

Finally, live relationally with God.  That’s why you were created. Know why you do what you do and do it on purpose.

 ^“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in^[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 3 : 7 – 14)

Shalom

David Mclachlan

THE LIGHTHOUSE

There once was a young man who wanted to be a Lighthouse Keeper. After searching for many weeks he found a Lighthouse Keeper who was willing to show him what it took to look after a Lighthouse. As the young man arrived he saw the stone light-house standing on the rocky shore like a giant sentinel. Its glass top shining like a diamond in the morning sun. He leant his bicycle against it's dark grey wall and knocked on the large wooden door. There was no answer. He knocked again, this time a little louder. From deep inside he heard a muffled cry.

"I'm coming. Hold your horses." Came the reply.

After a short time the young could hear the dull thudding of boots on a stone floor. The old wooden door creaked its complaint as it reluctantly opened, and before the young man appeared the Light Keeper. He wore a large oil skin coat and heavy boots. His grey beard sticking out in all directions.

"Don't get many visitors out here. You must be that young man who is interested in being a Light Keeper?" he asked.

"That's right Sir." The young man replied politely.

The Light Keeper opened the door completely and gestured for the young man to enter. He pointed to an old armchair next to a small fire.

"Take a seat son." He instructed.

The young man crossed to a chair on the far side of the room. It smelled musty and a little damp but the fire provided just enough heat so it was comfortable.

"So you want to be a Light Keeper do you?" the old man asked. 

"That's right." The young man said.

"You had any experience with Lighthouses?‟ The old man asked.

"No Sir." The young man replied.

The Light Keeper then began to tell his guest the history of the Lighthouse. How long it had been there, and more importantly why it was there.

"You see young man, this coastline is very rough. In a big storm you can't see far enough ahead to know where you are going. This lighthouse shows the ships at sea where the land is so they can stay clear." The Light Keeper said.

The young listened intently. Every so often he would nod, or gasp at some of the things the Light Keeper had seen.

"Well I guess you would like to see the rest of the Lighthouse wouldnt you?" the Light Keeper finally asked.

"Yes please." The young man answered excitedly.

"This area here is the living quarters. We eat and sleep here."

The Light Keeper struggled out of the chair he was sitting in and moved to the stairs.

"Come on then, follow me." He said and the young man leapt across the room with enthusiastic strides. The Light Keeper led the way up the stairs.

"There are 210 stairs." He announced as they began to climb.

As they passed each of the 8 floors there was a small window in the side of the lighthouse. As they got to each landing the Light Keeper would stop and check that the window was closed tightly.

As he walked up the stairs the Light Keeper ran his hand along the wall.

Finally they stepped up into the Lantern Room. The morning sun had warmed the tiny room to a toasty temperature. The young man stopped. His mouth open as he looked up and down the rugged coastline. Waves crashing on rocks for as far as the eye could see. For several moments he just stood there staring at the ocean.

"Do you ever get tired of looking at this?" he asked finally.

"Nope." The Light Keeper answered.

Then without turning to the old man asked of his guest.

"Well son you've seen the whole place now. Tell me, what part of the lighthouse do you think is the most important?"

Without hesitation the young man answered. "The light of course."

"The light is very important, but to be a good Light Keeper you must take care of the whole house." The Light Keeper said.

"Is that why you checked the windows as you came up." The young man asked.

"Yes." The Light Keeper answered.

The young man looked down at the floor for just a second and then asked. "Excuse me Sir, but why did you run your hands along the wall all the way up?"

"You saw that did you?" the Light Keeper asked.

"Yes Sir." The young man replied.

"I feel the wall for moisture and cracks or gaps in the wall. In a heavy storm the walls get pounded by huge waves. The lighthouse would be pretty useless if the walls collapse. The brightest light is no good lying on the ground." The young man nodded his agreement.

"Take care of the light. Make sure it is clean and shining brightly, but also guard the walls for when the storms come they will protect the light.

MORAL

The same is true of our own lives. We must guard what is truly important.

So, Shine on and guard the walls!

THE END

TO TRUST AGAIN

RE-ENGAGING IN GOD'S DESTINY FOR YOUR LIFE

SESSION 2  - THE DIAGNOSIS UNIT

 "guard you heart for it is the wellspring of life."

Proverbs 4:23

In this section we will deal with the concepts of what causes damage to the believers heart.

The Types of Casualty

Burnt Out and Discarded

Abused and Mis-used

Assassination & Territorialism

Neglected & Ignored

Friendly Fire

 

Burnt Out and Discarded

Burnout is a specific problem experienced by people who throw everything into what they are doing without taking care of their own well-being.  This comes about sometimes because of our own desires or it can also be because of leaders who have not taken good care of their people.

 Symptoms of this are the following:

·         Lack of enthusiasm

·         Unwillingness to engage in non mandatory events

·         Negative attitude

·         General disinterest

·         Lethargy

There are many others but these are the main ones.  The main thing to remember, when it comes to burnout, is that you must guard yourself. No one knows what you need, in regards to rest and rejuvenation, like you do.  You also know when you are pushing the limits of your abilities or time.

The problems comes in when people who have reached the end of their ability to serve find it difficult to understand why more is required. There is a gap between what they are capable of giving and what is being asked of them.  This tends to bring resentment and a negative attitude towards their leaders for the lack of support and respect they feel. This is when the discarding process takes place.

The main thing to remember is this:

1.      Serve the Lord where he calls you to serves in the manner He tells you to serve.

2.      Your spare time is yours.  You get to decide how you use it. 

3.      Don’t let guilt trips or emotional pleas motivate you to do things you are not supposed to be doing.

4.      Stay within your gifting.  When you agree to do something the person you are serving may well expect you to do as well as they can, even if you have told them you can’t.  By accepting the job, you accept the responsibility to get it done.

5.      You are a slave to Christ, not to man.

You are a child of the most High God remember that.  Which of us would allow someone to treat our children this way?

Abused and Mis-used

Now when we come to the areas of spiritual abuse I am afraid it is not going to be pleasant topic for anyone.  Spiritual abuse is when a leader chooses to ignore his/or her mandate to take care of the flock in favour for the vision they feel the Lord has given them. 

A definition of Spiritual abuse could be phrased as follows:

 

“When those in spiritual authority manipulate, intimidate, and control others out of lust for power, fear of sin or insignificance.”

 

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves

be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1

 

The context for this verse speaks specifically about some leaders who were requiring specific religious acts to prove their commitment to God.  In this case circumcision. Now in the Post Modern church there are  many misleading doctrines being put forward.  We have once again become enslaved to the next big teaching that comes down to pipe line.

We must guard ourselves towards anything that is contrary to the scriptural instruction given to us by the writers in the new testament.

Mis-use  is where people may be being used outside of the abilities the Lord has given them.  They perhaps have stepped into a position for a season to fill a need but now find themselves locked into a role that does not suit them and they find no joy or fulfilment in it.

Regardless of how good the motivation was at the beginning there will come a time when you will start to resent the fact you are not being used according to your gifting.

Assassination & Territorialism

This is not the physical type of assassination. This speaks directly of the destruction of the character, or standing of a person. It is to our shame as a body that this is happening.  It is specifically when the shepherd turns on one of the sheep and destroys them. The reasons can be varied.

§  Pride (usually motivated by a presumed threat to their own status in the group)

§  Fear of loss of power

§  Sin

§  Personality conflict

 However the outcomes have some alarming similarities. 

§  The person being assassinated is ridiculed or maligned by the leader.

§  False accusations are brought forward and the person who is being accused does not have the opportunity to defend themselves.

§  The accused will usually leave rather than confront.  They do this for several reasons.  Because of their desire not to bring Christ into disrepute they choose not to fight.  Another reason is that that they fear the pain of the process of clearing their name.

 

Neglected & Ignored

In Acts Chapter 6:1 we see the first reference to spiritual neglect.  This is where some parts of the body were not considered in the same way others were.

“In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews^[a] among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. “ Acts 6:1

No matter what situation we may find ourselves in.  As a leader there is no reason to react in ways that we have described above.  Spiritual abuse is present in the body.  We are not meant to be a doormat.  We must serve Christ according to the way his Word says, not man’s interpretation of that word.  This is why Paul instructs us to test everything.

^“19 Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not treat prophecies with contempt ²¹ but test them all; hold on to what is good, ²² reject every kind of evil.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 19 – 22

Friendly Fire

Generally it is the ones closest to us, the ones we have allowed to get close that cause the most harm.  Now this is no reason to withdraw completely from the body.  Like any family our spiritual family has it’s ‘Issues’.  There are some we don’t want to invite to family gatherings specifically because what they might do.

There are some specific reasons though why we are sometimes attacked by our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Tall Poppy Syndrome:

Let’s say you are growing and that you are sharing what God is doing.  Well I am sorry to burst your bubble but not everyone is going to be happy about that.  They are going to try and take you down a notch or too.  Perhaps they think they are being helpful and giving you a dose of reality.  The truth is that we as believers may say we rejoice at others victories and growth, but there are times we resent them as well.

Caught in the Crossfire:

You may get wounded even when you have nothing to do with what is going on.  Perhaps there is a feud or disagreement in the body and you just happened to get caught up in it. No matter what the reason this is something that most people have encountered at some time in their Christian lives.

Witch-hunt's:

There are some people in the body who feel it is their spiritual calling to be the ‘Sherriff’ of the flock.  This maybe because they have been in that church so long they feel a sense of ownership or because they feel they are spiritually superior enough to do the job.  They may not even like the job but they do it anyway.  For these people perfection is not the goal it is the standard. 

Loose lips sink ships (or Churches):   

Gossip is one of those areas that some believers think they have every right to engage in.  They feel it is their responsibility to let people know what they know.  Even if there is little or no truth in what they say.

The old adage “sticks and stone can break my bones but names will never hurt me…” has been used to tell people they are not allowed to feel the pain of unkind words.  They are told by well-meaning friends that they just need to get over it.  Unfortunately these scars are carried for life.  Not on the outside but on the inside. 

 

“the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way..”

Victor Frankl’s – Man’s Search for Meaning

 

"guard you heart for it is the wellspring of life."

Proverbs 4:23

Shalom

David McLachlan

TO TRUST AGAIN

RE-ENGAGING IN GOD'S DESTINY FOR YOUR LIFE

SESSION 1 - THE CASUALTY UNIT

 

 

In April last year I posted that the Lord had laid upon my heart to write a programme to restore those that had been hurt and abused spiritually.  This had been quite a journey.  Firstly facing some of the things that had happened to me as well as those I had been privy to.

Well the programme is complete.  It now stands as a 6 session training session Called 'To Trust Again".  Below is a short excerpt from the first session.

 

"It takes more courage to suffer than to die."

Napoleon Bonaparte

If you were to ask me why we, as Christians we wound each other I could not, with any certainty, tell you why.  All I can say is that we, as a church, have a propensity to wound, maim and destroy the very people we are there to serve.  The only real reason I can come up with is that we have not fully grasped and adopted the teachings of Christ, and I include myself in this.  We take those teachings we like and discard or disregard those that are uncomfortable or too difficult for us.

It is for this reason that we struggle in our relationships with one another.  We seem to forget that our leaders or brothers and sisters in the Lord are just as flawed and fallen as we are.  In our post modern age we have failed to embrace the upward call of God.  (See Philippians 3:14) This calling to be "In the world, but not of the world." (John 17:15 - 17)  A man once told me that living in this world is like having 2 huts surrounded by mud.  You cannot move from one hut (Birth) to the other hut (Death) without getting dirty.  In the same way those around us also live in the same spiritual situation we do.

 

"Since God is good, we must regard Him as the author of all our blessings; our misfortunes we must assign to other causes, but never to God."

Plato

So where does that leave us?  We know what has happened to us and we cannot reconcile the teachings of Christ and the behaviour of some of His followers.

Thomas Chalmers once said,

"Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping the other person dies."

So how do we let go of what has happened to us.  Our pain is part of us.  We can no more wish it away than we could erase its memory.  In this case what we focus on is the key to our future spiritual state.

¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”
    Lamentations 3:19 -33

 

Now there is a difference between acknowledging that something has happened and being fixated on the past.  I have met people, and even found myself, telling everyone what has happened to us.  Either in an attempt to gain sympathy or to validate some level of negative behaviour.  This can tend to have the exact opposite effect.  All too often it pushes people away and isolates us even more.  This only solidifies our internal dialogue.  This internal dialogue is the endless conversation we have with our selves.  "I'm not good enough." "No one understands me." etc.

However just letting go is often not enough.  Sometime we actually have to understand and process what has happened or we fail to remove the venom, or poison, of the incident from our system.  If we do not do this properly it can subconsciously cause us to react negatively to similar circumstances time and again.  Even though we don't mean too we snap and react in an ungodly manner.  Strangely enough this is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

So how do we know what the difference is.

Firstly you need to have a look at the impact it had on you.  The greater the impact the more significant, and likely, the damage may be.  If you were treated badly and you just brushed it off only to snap later on, then it is likely it had more of an effect on you than you originally thought.

So how do we take the sting out of our memories.  God may be able to instantly forget when we ask for forgiveness, but we seem to struggle with this.  To a large extent this has to do with the emotions attached to that memory.  It is also true that negative emotions are harder to let go of than their positive counterparts.

 

"If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others."

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131  (Courtesy Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota - 14 August 2013)

Although our pain and circumstance do not define us they certainly give us a level of connectedness and compassion for those in a similar situation.  The Lord can use this to reach others.  If we deny what has happened and ignore its effect on us, we add shame to the emotional baggage we are carrying.  As if, for some reason, it is embarrassing and not spoken of in the presence of other more 'spiritual' people. So instead of God's power being made manifest in that situation, to bring healing and strength to our soul, the situation continues to have power over us.

 

Victor Frankl called it in his book 'Man's Search for Meaning'

 

"The mortification of normal reactions."

 

By embracing or owning our pain and turning it over to the Lord we give Him space in our hearts and lives to add His purpose and Spirit.

 

That which brought us low becomes the very vessels God uses to raise us up and strengthen those brethren who, like us, have been discarded, wounded and maimed.

 

 

Shalom

 

David McLachlan